Try Love

Try Love – By Tameka

We spent one night in the Nana District. Nana and Patpong have different styles. Patpong has a market down the middle of the street, which draws in people of all ages to shop. This bit of honey attracts people that may not have intended to go into the red light bars, but now that they are there and the curiosity kills the cat. The worst thing about the market being in Patpong in my opinion is that both vendors and shoppers bring their children through the district.  This is obviously not a healthy environment for a child to grow up in.

Nana is different.  You don’t end up in Nana by accident.  There is nothing there that makes you think it’s anything other than a red light district. 

In Patpong many of the women are there because of financial pressure from their families. The oldest female has the responsibility of providing for the family in the traditional, rural Thai culture in the areas like Isaan. Isaan is where most of the women we met were from. Their families send them to Bangkok to make money to be able to provide. They often will not see any of their family members because they can’t afford to travel back and forth. They work 29-30 days a month and ship money back home.

The ladies are paid a salary from the bars and then receive tips on top of that. They are fined for any infraction such being late. They have quotas that they have to reach each month. The quotas vary from drink sales to specific menu options. If they do not meet these quotas they are fined. They are paid at the end of the month so the need for tips keeps them financially indebted to the bar. The Mama San is the den mother and makes sure things run smoothly.

The Nana District is where much more of the trafficking of women from outside of the country happens. There is a hotel there that is sort of a hub.  You will find women from Africa, Eastern Europe and other parts of Asia. Most of the time Thailand isn’t their first stop.  These women have no means of getting away.

Although the other women aren’t trafficked to the district by people they don’t know, it’s almost worse that the ones that are there “voluntarily,” respond the same way when asked “why are you working here?” They almost universally respond that they are working to support their families and send money back home for their mom and dad. I can’t imagine being in a place that I would ask my eldest daughter to go 5 hours away to a place she knows no one and sell herself so that we could have more. While saying that, I realize that it’s more complex than that. They didn’t grow up with the same value system for children or family that I had as a Westerner growing up in a Christian home with two parents who wanted better for their children than they had. I can’t pass judgment on either side because I haven’t walked in their shoes. What I can do is pray for and encourage them that they are worth more and there are people who care about them and their future.

We spent most of our time working in Patpong.  By the end of the week I felt a sense of community and saw the individuals, regardless of their role, as people that need to be loved and most importantly these are people that God died for just as much as He did me. It was no longer a red light district.  It was a place people worked. People with needs, hurts, ambitions and pressures. For them this was life.

Saturday night in Nana was very different.  “Same. Same. But different.” Because there is no market to hide behind. The touts know that if you are in the district you are there to go into the bars.  Now it’s just a matter of deciding which one you will give your business. 

The approach is much more vulgar and the women are much more fearful of the management. We walked around the area and tried giving a few of the girls bracelets and they would first make eye contact with the person working the door to seek approval and many declined. They didn’t want to make eye contact with us.  They were shells of people.  

We split into 3 different groups. 1 stayed at a karaoke bar where you can get the same services but the women are fully clothed in dresses. The other 2 groups went into the Go Go bars.

The entire vibe of the area was darker and more depressing. My group went into a bar on the second level. We walked into the bar and there was only one customer. The 10 or so girls on the stage could have been robots. One of them was incredibly young. We sat down in front of the ladies. They didn’t want to look at us. They didn’t want to look at anyone. They were so focused on the mirror.

The mirror is their best friend and their worst enemy. It allows them to focus on themselves and not the people. They can drift off to wherever it is they wish to be. However, it also serves as a giant magnifying glass for their imperfections. They constantly mess with their stomachs. Adjusting to hide any hint of being “overweight.”

These were beautiful young women, but when they are on stage and in their bar role they try to be as robotic as possible.  I had brought my bag of things to give away. Since it was our last night I really wanted to give out as much as possible.  However, this bar didn’t look like anyone was going to be willing to have a conversation.

We use the items as a way to start a conversation.  A simple gift of a free friendship bracelet with no ask in return removes a lot of barriers. It immediately puts a soul back into the body that just seconds earlier seemed like a statue.

I reached in my bag to get a couple of my colorful plastic cross necklaces. I thought maybe one of the girls would come over. After getting my crosses out I started thinking maybe this place was too dark to hand out these bright neon crosses. I wanted to put them back in my bag. I was immediately reminded of the whole point to this trip. If they don’t need a cross, who does? Jesus didn’t die for the perfect.

At that moment one of the older ladies came over, we will call her 426 because of the large red button she was wearing. See if she is 426 she is an item with a skew. She isn’t a women with 2 little boys at home with her mother. Boys ages 6 and 3 that will grow up knowing that the sex trade paid for their survival. They will never know a difference. 

426 was immediately drawn to the necklaces.  When I brought the first one out of my bag she reached for it. It was again a reminder that people value love. She began helping untangle the stands of necklaces. 426 and the four of us on the team started hustling to untangle to necklaces. We were going to give them to the ladies and leave. Well once T.C. and Andy started passing out the necklaces it was like a light switch of humanity was turned on in the place. They started smiling, laughing, talking to one another and coming over to the 4 of us. They were girls again.

When the necklaces came out so did more girls. I’m not sure where they were hiding but they all wanted one. About that same time 5 or 6 men came in who were celebrating one of the guys 50th birthday.  They were a little confused as to what was going on. They were here to have a good time and it looked like a Stella and Dot party had broken out. Girls were putting on braclets, tieing on orange bandanas. They had all but forgotten the environment they were in. The men made me a little nervous because they were obviously not Christian and here we are handing out cross necklaces to the women they are looking to for entertainment.

They sat right in front of me. One immediately called over a girl. One sat right in front of the stage on a stool. In just a few seconds the guy in front turned around to say something to me and I just knew it was going to get awkward. 

No, he reached out his hand and said he wanted a necklace.  By this time we had probably given out 20 or more necklaces. Their bright colors glowed in the blacklights. 

The man on the stool turned and waved at me. Not sure what he wanted I waved back and continued to pass out the items and talk with the girls. A lot of them had only been working in this bar a couple of months. A few minutes later the man came up to where I was sitting and squeezed in between one of the girls and me. He said he couldn’t “see very well from the stool.” These men came to the bar looking for time with these women but now they were huddled around our team trying to understand why we were here trying to form relationships with these women.

I explained that we are here to show God’s love by loving these women.  Our conversation was cut short because we had to meet up with the other teams. It was just another of the many times that we went into minister to the women but find that you can’t isolate any one person in the picture.

People love to go on mission trips and complete a project and see immediate results. You create a construction project or provide a medical clinic. This work in the red light has a very long growing season. However, has far exceeded my expectations.

A team from AIM goes every 6 months. They follow up on the relationships that was started or watered by the previous team. They also partner with other organizations who have members there year round. These organizations ultimately connect the women with other Thai women who better understand their struggle.  It’s an incredible work that is happening there and one that I won’t soon forget.

This trip more than anything has taught me to love. Few people regardless of background, affiliation, life experiences will shy away from genuine love.  The next time you are tempted to judge, try love. The results are beautiful.